Yesterday I gave my first massage session since returning to Berkeley after an extended stay in Boston. After my the session ended and my client left, I felt an awesome wave of gratitude flood through me until I found myself sitting on my table, my arms folded across my chest hugging my heart, in front of my altar saying "thank you thank you thank you" over and over.
Going back to my old practice space and seeing my Boston clients was exactly what I needed to reignite my passion and excitement for this work. I missed doing massage so much. I missed wanting to do massage. I immediately felt confident and happy seeing my old clients, and the response was totally overwhelming. It felt nice to know that I was missed and that people were still happy to see me even after a few months of being gone. I missed everyone too and it was wonderful to see photos of babies born to my prenatal clients and newly pregnant clients and catch up on all the details. I even got to shovel some snow while I was back east. :)
Berkeley seemed to miss me too though. I found the most amazing space to plant my massage practice in the East Bay. It's right off of trendy and convenient Solano Ave in Albany, nestled in the garden of a nice mission style home, two large fragrant redwoods in the front yard, and I can walk there! In fact the walk is probably the same number of footsteps as the walk from my apt in Boston to my old practice. I start working in the space on January 15th, Sunday, Monday & Friday afternoons from 3-8pm.
It feels good to be back.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Hardships and Successes
My amazing painter friend Heather Morgan wrote me a letter today discussing some recent hardships of hers and in it she mentioned her sweetheart saying of him "But he handles the anxiety so well, I should learn from him. He is a great example of keeping your spirits up, facing the day cheerfully without any worldly accomplishments to speak of, without money, without anything. What a remarkable person!"
I too am emboldened by people like Heather's sweetheart. I keep coming back to this same quote by the Dalai Lama: "As long as there is a lack of the inner discipline that brings calmness of mind, no matter what external facilities or conditions you have, they will never give you the feeling of joy and happiness that you are seeking. On the other hand, if you possess this inner quality, a calmness of mind, a degree of stability within, then even if you lack various external facilities that you would normally consider necessary for happiness, it is still possible to live a happy and joyful life." Heather's love is a great example of a person who lives in the moment and, for the most part, does not let external conditions effect his inner peace.
I used to think my own detachment from success was a hindrance to me. That I it meant I didn't care for anything enough to want it to be BIG BIG BIG all the time! But the truth is, the thing I really care about is what's happening right now, what I'm feeling, what you're feeling, what's going on, who's doing it, who's not. On my better days I let go of any anxiety about the future and I feel absolutely perfectly content in the moment and experience grace and peace and amazing gratitude. I believe that feeling comes from detaching my sense of happiness and self worth from the things I accomplish or don't accomplish in this life.
My own sweetheart told me once that he read that Mick Jagger, when asked if he ever really did get any satisfaction from selling billions of records and being rich and famous, he answered no. That he only felt that he could have done this or that differently, or this or that album could have sold better. Doesn't that make you question your own definition of success?
I too am emboldened by people like Heather's sweetheart. I keep coming back to this same quote by the Dalai Lama: "As long as there is a lack of the inner discipline that brings calmness of mind, no matter what external facilities or conditions you have, they will never give you the feeling of joy and happiness that you are seeking. On the other hand, if you possess this inner quality, a calmness of mind, a degree of stability within, then even if you lack various external facilities that you would normally consider necessary for happiness, it is still possible to live a happy and joyful life." Heather's love is a great example of a person who lives in the moment and, for the most part, does not let external conditions effect his inner peace.
I used to think my own detachment from success was a hindrance to me. That I it meant I didn't care for anything enough to want it to be BIG BIG BIG all the time! But the truth is, the thing I really care about is what's happening right now, what I'm feeling, what you're feeling, what's going on, who's doing it, who's not. On my better days I let go of any anxiety about the future and I feel absolutely perfectly content in the moment and experience grace and peace and amazing gratitude. I believe that feeling comes from detaching my sense of happiness and self worth from the things I accomplish or don't accomplish in this life.
My own sweetheart told me once that he read that Mick Jagger, when asked if he ever really did get any satisfaction from selling billions of records and being rich and famous, he answered no. That he only felt that he could have done this or that differently, or this or that album could have sold better. Doesn't that make you question your own definition of success?
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